The Sailboat and The Anchor
by anniebelleofstars
Summary: Annie and Finnick's story from beginning to end, told from Annie's perspective.
1. The Reaping

As she drifted slowly from dream to consciousness a heaviness slipped on to her chest and into her breathing. Anxiety encased her as soon as her eyes opened. She started racing through her mind. What's making me nervous? What am I dreading? Is someone mad at me? Did I mess something up? If anything was going to cause Annie Cresta stomach churning dread, it was the thought that someone was upset with her. She would do anything to avoid a raised voice or a disapproving look. Perhaps she hadn't finished cleaning before she went to bed last night…Maybe she had forgotten that she had had plans with Hawthorne and had accidentally ditched him…Maybe she…..And then it her. The reaping.

The reaping was today. Last year, last year, last year, last year… She repeated it to herself like a mantra. But it did nothing to ease the fear that was threatening to consume her. Images from games she had seen were flashing through her head. The images were getting increasingly graphic and she couldn't decide if she was going to throw up or pass out. She frantically chose a world to retreat to in her mind. _Hawthorne and I married and living on the beach_. She tried as hard as she could to keep her mind occupied with her fantasy life of quiet domesticity. Finally the images of the games ceased to come crashing in and she spent the morning living in her beach world.

Even as she was making breakfast and doing chores, she didn't leave her imagination. She knew that if she did she would start thinking of the games and she couldn't take the anxiety. Thankfully her morning would be free of any interactions that would pull her out of her head. It had been about a week since her Aunt and Uncle had even spoken to her and as it was reaping day there was no way she would see them until this evening. What had been frightening and isolating as a twelve year old she had grown to see as a gift. They could pretend she didn't exist and she could pretend she lived in a world where the games didn't exist. Everyone's minds were safer that way, protected from reality.

Once time came to start getting ready to go to the town square she was unable to ignore the purpose of her outing. She chose a green cotton floral dress that reminded her of her mother's eyes and pulled her hair half back just as her mother had always done. Even though she knew it made no sense, she always thought that maybe if she could look more like her mother she could begin to possess more of the fiery strength her mother had. Her mother had been a tidal wave. Strong, unpredictable, willfully directing everything it touches. Temporary. But as she stared at herself in the mirror, she felt more like a feather, sea foam, a reed in the wind. She sang about the waves as she walked to the town square.

 _The boats they toss about about_

 _The gulls and men they shout and shout_

 _Today the waves and tide they turn_

 _Are sand and men to save or burn?_

She received a few strange glances as she normally did when she walked around singing. But as usual, she didn't notice them.

 _In wrath the wave today shall lash_

 _On rock and ship and man shall bash_

 _Her anger foams and bubbles white_

 _Then softly slows into the night_

When she arrived at the town square she took her place among the girls. She spotted several girls she knew but said nothing. No one talks to each other at the reaping. An eerie silence overtakes the whole village. It doesn't leave until everyone's back in their homes. And then, in every home, a quiet chatter starts to bubble in a heavy relief. Except that in two homes, every year, the eerie silence stays and never leaves. Riayeez Bevakoof took to the stage and the standard proceedings began. Riayeez wore a skirt that was made to resemble waves breaking. As Annie stared at it she started thinking of the waves again.

Her mind took her under the water, where you can see the white of the waves breaking above but only feel a gentle sway. The rhythm of the waves and the cool of the water were filling Annie with a too familiar longing to live life as a fish in the comfortable embrace of the ocean. She was imagining her legs as a fin gracefully guiding her through the salty tides when suddenly she felt as if she was very exposed. She stepped out of her day dream and realized it was because everyone was staring at her. She was confused for a moment but she realized why she was the recipient of the attention before she even heard the sound from the stage…

"Ehem, I said Annie Cresta."


	2. The Justice Building

"You will have one hour to speak to whoever comes to visit you." The burly peacekeeper said before leaving Annie alone in a well decorated but cold room in the justice building.

She spent some time wondering if her Aunt and Uncle would come visit her before deciding that there was no way they'd come inside the justice building again. She started to worry that she wouldn't get any visitors when the door opened and Hawthorne walked in. He stood in the doorway and stared at her, his mouth slightly open as if he was trying to force himself to speak. Annie made no move. She stayed on the couch staring back at him, just as unsure about what to say.

After what seemed to both of them like an eternity, Annie volunteered to be the breaker of the silence by meekly saying, "Thank you for coming to visit me." Hawthorne fell to his knees and buried his head in Annie's lap as he began to cry. She stroked his hair and started whispering, "I'm so sorry I'm leaving you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

Hawthorne looked up. "Oh Annie, of course you're apologizing to me. How can someone so sweet and so pure be put through something like this? My beautiful Annie. My sweet beautiful Annie. You should be on the beach, in a dress, singing, bringing beauty to the world. Not in the games. Not surrounded by ugliness. It's not where you belong. It's just not where you belong. It's just not…." His voice trailed off as a new wave of sobs came.

Annie reached back to stroke his dusty brown hair, still unsure of what to say. She was worried that anything she said would result in her breaking down and crying and she didn't want to make it harder for him than it already was. Finally he took a deep breath, straightened himself, and looked at her. " I'm going to go talk to Byron. He's strong and smart. I've seen him fight too. He's quick and knows how to defend himself. But he's got a good guy, you know he's good guy. And he likes you. Of course, how could he not. I'm going to ask him to protect you. I think he can. I think he will. He'll protect you…protect you from being…." He didn't finish the sentence, but Annie knew what he meant.

When Byron's name had been called after hers, all she thought was how sad she was that Hawthorne's friend was going to go to the games and how afraid she was that she was going to see him die. She hadn't even considered that they could work together.

Hawthorne embraced her with a sad ferocity. She felt him turn his face toward her raven hair and inhale. She thought he must be gathering his last memories of her, scent, feel, and sight. He pulled her in for a kiss and whispered, "I love you Annie." She didn't reply, but simply dug her face into his neck and allowed the escape of a few of the tears she had been holding captive.

Brown eyes met green in a final miserable gaze before Hawthorne turned and walked out of the room. Annie was left alone sitting on the couch, suddenly feeling the silence to be the loudest noise she could ever remember. She felt as if any foolish hope that she was storing had been drained by Hawthorne. It was painfully clear that he had no hope that she could survive the games. He hadn't even asked her to fight or be strong. He knew, just as all Panem would figure out immediately, that she had no fight or strength in her.

His only hope was that his friend would protect her from being tortured or killed brutally. Even though she knew it would have been a lie, she wished he would have said something to make her think he believed in her. It would have been a beautiful lie. A lie she could have held in her pocket and chosen to believe when she felt her weakest. But instead he just confirmed what she knew that she knew. She was going to die. Her only hope was to stick with Byron who could possibly keep her from too much pain before death. But even that was no guarantee. Ahead of her only waited pain and death.

And when the peacekeeper came to the door she imagined that it had been death itself that had sent him to retrieve her and bring her to the train that was headed on a track straight to him.


	3. Train Day One

Annie had been staring out the window of her room on the train since she had been showed to it. She had never left District 12 before and was intrigued to see what landscape lay outside the coastal confines of her village. She guessed which animals were living in the trees and imagined what it would be like to live in these forests. It had distracted her from how nervous she was to meet Riayeez, Finnick, and Mags. She kept foreseeing the disappointed looks they would have as they appraised their pathetic tribute. Their critical gazes burned in her mind. She could only imagine how much they would hurt her when she was actually faced with them.

And then there was Byron. He would probably be so annoyed at Hawthorne trying to stick him with hopeless dead weight. She would immediately tell him that he didn't have to worry about her. She kept replaying how she would relieve him of the burden that Hawthorne had tried to put on him. She was trapped by the feeling that the entire train was frustrated at her presence there.

She was a burden. An unwanted, annoying burden. She had been so to her young mother. She became so to her grieving Aunt and Uncle. And now she was so to mentors who would have to waste their time on a hopeless case. And to her boyfriend's friend who had to act like he was going to help her. She was so tired of playing the part she had always played. She would let all of them know immediately that she was perfectly aware of where she stood. She would absolve them of any sort of feelings of obligation to take her on. She wouldn't be a burden in her last days. She would just slip quietly into the end. No footprints on the sand.

There was a light knock on her door and Annie jumped, startled, from her seat. A woman opened the door, but didn't speak. She simply gestured for Annie to follow her. Annie followed to another compartment with a table and the woman gestured for her to sit down. Annie realized it must be dinner time. A few minutes later Byron walked into the room. He made his way straight to Annie and lifted her from her chair in a hug. She was so taken off guard that she didn't even move her arms to return it.

"Hawthorne came and talked to me in the Justice Building, but he…" "I know," Annie cut him off. "I was too upset when he came to see me and I wasn't thinking clearly. I should have told him not to ask you what he did. I'm sorry. But Byron, you don't need to do what he asked. You don't need to protect me. He shouldn't have asked you to. I'll go off on my own and survive as long as I can. You fight, and win Byron. I'm so sorry he asked you to drag me along with you. Of course I'm not going to follow you around. You're going to do so great Byron. You really are. I'm so happy our District gets to have you."

Byron sat down and gave Annie a reproving look. "Annie, I was going to say that Hawthorne didn't need to come see me. Because he didn't ask anything of me that I hadn't 100% planned to do anyway. Of course I'm going to protect you as long as I can Annie. I'm not going to drag you along. I'm going to be your partner. We're going to work together Cresta. I'm not just Hawthorne's friend, I'm your friend too. Now don't get me wrong, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure I win. But that does not include abandoning you. Got it? We're sticking together Cresta. No arguing." "Byron, are you sure?" "Hey, Cresta, I said no arguing."

Annie couldn't help but smile and she got up from her chair to return that hug she had neglected before. They decided on a light conversation topic to loosen the tension and started talking about what kind of food they might be getting served. After they had exhausted every combination of food that they knew of, Raiyeez, Mags, and Finnick came in. The anxiety that had lessened after her conversation with Byron snuggled back up to Annie the moment the door opened.

She stood up shakily to introduce herself to all of them. She reached Mags first who squeezed her hand and gave her a warm smile that felt to Annie like wrapping yourself in a quilt. Then was Riayeez who grabbed only the tip of her fingers and gave her something between a smile and a sneer. Annie then wondered if they didn't shake hands in the capitol and felt a flush of embarrassment. Finally Annie came to Finnick. He gave her a real firm handshake and flashed the charming smile she had seen on TV so many times. He really was even more handsome in person. She felt shy and embarrassed because this famous victor had to deal with weak little her. She went quickly back to her seat.

Riayeez began talking first, "Well aren't we just so delighted to meet you. Congratulations on being chosen! Aren't the two of you just so lucky! Well this is only my second year hosting tributes and I've already been promoted to District 4, so you can just imagine what a wonderful hostess you've been lucky enough to get!" She turned and winked at Finnick after she said this who returned the wink with a coy smile. Annie realized how young Riayeez must be. It was hard to tell her age under the blue lipstick and coats of golden glitter on her face, but she couldn't have been that much older than Annie.

She continued, "We'll arrive at the capitol tomorrow night, and that's when the real fun will begin! We'll talk more about that tomorrow. Tonight you're going to be served the absolute best dinner of your lives. Finnick and Mags will talk to you a bit about your mentoring. But really, let's just try to enjoy ourselves, shall we?" She then clapped and the waiters brought out a purple soup that made Annie seriously question Riayeez's prediction of their dinner.

Mags gave that same quilt of a warm smile and said, "Why don't the two of you tell us a little about yourselves." Annie turned to Byron hoping that he would begin. "Well, I'm Byron. I'm 17. My family are fishermen, so I'm strong and am used to going after prey. I grew up wrestling my brothers and I usually win. I'm good with a spear. I plan on being the victor." Finnick gave a bemused expression and Mags simply smiled and turned to Annie. "What about you dear?" "Um, I'm Annie and I'm 18. My family owns a bait shop, but I just take care of the house. I'm not very strong, or fast, and I've never fought any one in my life. I know Byron and everything he said is true. Both of you should definitely focus your mentoring on him. I know he can win."

Annie turned and gave an encouraging smile to Byron, "Oh and I like to sing. Sorry, I guess that's not important."

Finnick replied, "Annie, both of you are capable of winning. And we are going to do everything we can to make sure that's true for both of you. You have the two best mentors in these games, and definitely the most beautiful," at this comment he motioned towards Mags who waved him off with a smile. "And I would love to hear you sing." At the last comment Annie blushed and looked down.

Well, her plan to absolve everyone of obligation sure wasn't panning out how she had thought. She was starting to see some pretty deep footprints that she was going to leave in the sand. She only hoped that they would wash away soon.

Byron chimed in, "Like Annie said, we know each other. And we plan on being partners. Isn't that right Annie?" She replied with a hesitant nod. "So whatever kind of strategy you come up with, factor that in." Finnick and Mags looked at each other and had what seemed to be a nonverbal conversation that Annie couldn't decode.

Finnick turned back to them, "Alright we'll factor that in. We won't be talking much strategy tonight. Mags and I want to get to know you a little better, check in with each other, and then we can get more into that tomorrow. Since you want to work together, we'll mostly be mentoring you together. However, Mags will be directly in charge of mentoring you, Byron. And I'll be directly in charge of mentoring you, Annie." Annie was confused. She had expected Mags to mentor her since she was the girl. Byron must have been thinking the same thing because he asked why that was the pairing.

Before either of them could answer, Riayeez interrupted, "Oh well you see Mags has been a mentor, well, for almost all of the hunger games! So she's the most experienced you see and…" "And you know Riayeez that I just can't stay away from pretty ladies like yourself," Finnick interrupted. Annie's confusion was gone but it was quickly replaced by a small gratitude at Finnick for saving her from hearing the harsh words that were going to come from Riayeez. She decided having him for a mentor wouldn't be that bad.

Annie quietly observed for the rest of the dinner. She would reply when directly addressed, but that was rare. Riayeez was dominating the conversation and she directed everything she was saying to Finnick. Who would respond with wit, charm, and flirtation. Annie observed something strange though. When Finnick would turn to talk to Mags, she would notice his countenance change. That would be normal as his relationship to his fellow mentor would be quite different to the young capitol woman. But it was as if when he talked to Mags his shoulders dropped and his facial muscles loosened. And then when he would turn back to Riayeez; he would take a slightly perceptible breath. It reminded Annie of the kind of breath you take before you lift something heavy or answer the door.

* * *

Mags went with Byron and Finnick went with Annie back to their rooms. Annie just wanted to lie in bed and let her brain transport her to another world. She hoped the conversation wouldn't take long. "So Annie, when Mags asked you about yourself tonight, all you told us about were your weaknesses. That and your fondness for singing. So why don't you tell me a few of your strengths."

"I don't have any."

"Now I don't believe that for a second. But we can start somewhere else. Why don't…you tell me about your family. You said they own a bait shop? Who's they?"

"Well they is my Aunt and Uncle. The three of us live together. I don't know my Dad. My mom got pregnant young. Really young. Like fifteen young. I don't know if she even knew who my Dad was," Annie paused for a moment. Was she telling things that were too personal? Was this what he wanted to hear? She always had trouble discerning what was too much to share.

She shrugged it off and continued, "My mom got sick when I was six and died. She was only twenty-one at the time. It was a bad year. My cousin, got reaped that year, he was only thirteen. So My Aunt and Uncle lost their son and then my mom and got stuck with me. So I've lived with them since then."

Finnick paused before replying. "I'm very sorry about your Mom and your cousin. Are you close with your Aunt and Uncle?" Annie wasn't sure how to answer that. "Umm, not exactly."

"Well, why don't you tell me what a typical day for you looks like. I bet we can find your strengths hiding in your daily routine."

"Well, like I said at dinner, I take care of the house. So I do all of the cooking and cleaning. I fix anything that needs to be fixed and run all of the errands. I stopped going to school at sixteen. When I have free time I like to go be in the ocean. And my boyfriend and his friends are fishers so I hang out with them by the docks."

"Great. I see three strengths right there."

Annie looked at him skeptically. Finnick laughed, "You need to have a little faith in yourself! You take care of your household. That means you're going to have a penchant for survival skills. You know how to cook. I think the rest of it will be natural for you. I think it would be wise if you spent most of your training learning survival skills. It will come easy to you, I'm sure of it. You know how to swim. Depending on the arena, that can give you a huge leg up on most of the other tributes. And you clearly have good social skills. Which means you'll be able to partner well and win sponsors. See little miss skeptical? You got strengths hiding in that self-deprecating exterior."

Annie smiled, "Does that mean you've got weakness hiding in your self-praising exterior, little mr. confident?"

"Let's not get ridiculous now!" Finnick replied with a sly smile.

He started to tell her a little more about sponsors and training in the capitol. "Now you'll need a skill to show off to the judges at the end of training. While I want you to focus on survival skills in actual training, that's not going to do much to get you a good score. Back at your apartment, I'm going to work with you on knife throwing. You know how to handle a knife in the kitchen, and it doesn't require a lot of strength. That's what you'll show the judges."

The thought of throwing a knife made Annie want to hide under her bed. She tried not to let that come across in her expression, but she was pretty sure that Finnick caught it. He ignored it though and kept talking."While we're in the capitol before the games, there will be times when I'll go see some capitol friends who want to see me. If I'm not available Mags will be, you can always go to her if you need something."

Annie looked at him quizzically, "But you don't want to see them."

"What?" Finnick asked.

"Your friends in the capitol, you don't want to see them."

"Why would you say that?"

Annie blushed, this was her over-sharing tendency. Commenting on her observations without thinking through how the person would receive it. Why had she said that out loud? "Well, I mean, I can tell that you don't. The way you said it. Like you were breathing, just like you did at dinner."

Finnick just look confused. Annie knew she was making it worse. She had so much trouble explaining her thoughts to people. Her brain just worked different from others. "I mean at dinner, I could tell you breathe a certain way when you're having to put on your face, your charm. When you would talk to Riayeez. And you did the same thing with your shoulders just now when you talked about your capitol friends. So I thought it was like lifting something heavy for you….I'm sorry, that doesn't make any more sense. I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

Finnick just stared at her for a while, like he was looking at something he had never looked at before. Annie looked down at her hands.

"No, don't apologize. I understood what you were saying," Finnick said softly. Annie looked up in surprise.

"I'm glad you're my mentor Finnick. Thank you for giving me hope. You're the first person who's done that. You're heart, it's a good heart." Finnick smiled a different smile than she had seen him flash before now. She decided that this must be his real smile. The smile he gives to Mags.

"Well, I'll let you get some sleep Annie. Try to rest as well as you can, it's important for your body and your mind. I'll see you in the morning." And with a wink he turned and left the room. Annie breathed a sigh of relief. She could finally retreat into her mind.


	4. Train Day Two

The dream grows more stressful. She wakes up with a jolt. She turns. She falls asleep again. The dream begins. The dream grows scarier. She turns. She falls asleep again. The dream begins. Again and Again. Eventually Annie looked at the window and noticed the first slice of a rising sun. She took this as permission to escape her restless sleep. If the sun could rise, so could she.

She was entranced by the changing colors dancing in the window before her. Every minute there was a new sky. Every shade spoke something new to her. They spoke to her of the competing thoughts and feelings that tumbled around her heart and head. They whispered a harmony of fears and hopes and grief and joy. She thought the sky her mirror, her empathetic friend. The sky painted her abstraction and complexity and asked for no explanations.

She was kissed with a beautiful thought. What if in death, as the body returned to earth, the soul was able to choose which part of earth it wanted to rejoin? What if she wouldn't be confined to the dirt and could instead choose to join the sky? Or the sea? She smiled as she tasted salty tears tumble from her top lip. But without warning her melancholic felicity was brutally ripped in two by a knife.

It came flying from a corner of her mind that had been prowling in wait until it could hurl its cruel reminder. Flying knives. Flying knives. Flying knives with sharp blades. Sharp blades that cut, bleed, tear, bring pain, stab, hurt, kill. Sharp blades that could be dropped. Flying knives that could go the wrong way. Flying knives that could steal someone's soul. Flying knives that could take a mother's child away. Flying bloody blades. Blood. Death. Games. The games. Annie might kill. Annie will be killed. Annie will be hurt. People will try to kill Annie. Annie will bleed. Bloody knives that make Annie bleed. Bloody knives that Annie uses.

She didn't realize how loudly she was crying or how violently she was shaking until she heard a frantic knock on the door. She tried to stop, but she couldn't. Her words got stuck in a rapid inhale and Finnick walked in.

"Annie, what's wrong? I heard…what happened?"

"Knives.….Flying knives…..Blood"

Finnick looked at her with wide eyed confusion searching her and the room for understanding.

"Did you have a bad dream? Are you dreaming of the games?"

He paused to search her reaction.

"Oh, flying knives. Like we talked about last night? What I'll be training you to do? You're worried about that?"

Annie couldn't catch her breath long enough to give a fuller understanding to what Finnick had caught onto, so she just gave a jerking nod. He walked over to her and took her shivering hands.

"Listen, Annie, you don't need to worry about that. We'll be perfectly safe. I'll make sure of it. It will be okay. I'll make sure it's okay."

Finnick's words did little to ease the grip of terror that Annie was under. It was so much more than safety, how could she make him understand that?

He searched her face with knitted brows.

"Breathe Annie, slowly. Try your best to take in a slow deep breath. You said you like singing, right? What's your favorite song? Can you try singing it?"

Annie tried to force out "Tether My Soul", but all that came were high-pitched squeaks between rapid sobs.

"Okay…um…why don't you try closing your eyes and just singing it to yourself, in your head."

Annie did as he asked and she eventually began to feel her breathing slow. She waited until it was at a normal pace until opening her eyes again.

Finnick softly smiled, "That must be quite a song. You think you could try singing some of it out loud?"

Annie nodded, looked back out at the sky and sang.

 _Tether, oh tether my soul down below_

 _Tether, oh tether my soul_

 _No matter how tides shift and winds change and pull_

 _Anchor me down to the sands of the floor_

 _Oh tether, oh tether my soul_

* * *

After Finnick left the room, Annie dressed quickly, not wanting to spend too much time alone with her thoughts. Annie and her mind had a fickle relationship. One minute it was the only friend in the world that she wanted to be with, the next it betrayed her viciously. She went to the dining cart to find Mags sitting at the table sipping from a mug. Mags smiled and pulled out a chair for her.

"Good morning dear. I hope you slept well last night. I heard you had a bit of a rough morning?"

Annie was immediately embarrassed. She had been so grateful to Finnick for being kind to her that she hadn't even thought how it must have made her look. A tribute, wildly panicking at the thought of even holding a knife. He must have told Mags how she had been right about not wasting their time on her.

Annie's shoulders slumped and she looked down at her hands, "I…um…I was thinking about knives, and blood. I've never been very good with blood….and my brain just started, throwing it at me, and I couldn't….well I couldn't calm down…"

"For me it's fire."

Annie gave Mags an inquiring look.

"Yes, I had a rather difficult experience with fire in my games. And I mentored someone that I was rather fond of, and they also encountered fire. So even now I react quite strongly to fire. But I have a trick that helps me from being too overwhelmed by it. Can I teach it to you?"

Annie nodded.

"I choose an object in the room, and I focus on it. I start to notice everything I can about it. Let's say I chose this bread roll. In my mind I'll start to list everything I can observe about it. Like it's not from our district. It's round with an x-shaped indention at the top. It's golden brown on top and get's darker at the edge. Do you see what I mean? It may seem silly, but it keeps my mind focused on something other than my fear. It keeps me grounded to the place I'm at."

"Yes, I think I understand. I'll try that next time I get…overwhelmed. Finnick had me sing, but I think that was the same idea. He was having me focus on something. Thank you, Mags. You've both been so kind."

Mags reached over and grabbed her hand,

"It's because we understand, dear. We've been through this before. You can trust us."

Mags squeezed her hand and Annie squeezed back.

* * *

As they began breakfast Annie looked around and thought how profoundly safe she felt. There was Byron who had promised to stick with her and protect her. There was Finnick who believed in her and had spent the morning calming her. And there was Mags who understood what it was like to be overwhelmed by fear, and didn't think Annie was weak for it.

With the exception of Riayeez, she felt like the people sitting at the table around her were on her side. It was a feeling she was unaccustomed to. She soaked in it. She let it slip on like a warm new coat. A warm new coat…that reminded Annie…

"Byron, do you remember that time the dock lord put your coat on that sea lion?"

Byron started laughing, "Yes! I thought I was going to lose more than my coat!"

Finnick chimed in, "What did you do make the dock lord mad? I bet you it won't beat what I did!"

"I wasn't paying attention when I was walking down the docks…"

"Oh whatever, you were showing off!" Annie interrupted.

"I was not!"

"Please, Hannah Martin was there, so you were strutting your stuff, walking on the edge, making eyes at her, and THAT's why you knocked it in!"

Byron acted indignant, "Please ignore Cresta's false accusations. I was walking along the edge of the dock, probably watching a fish line or something, and I accidentally knocked the dock lord's dinner plate in the water."

Finnick, Mags, and Annie started laughing, so Riayeez cut in.

"Is this some sort of official in District 4?"

Byron responded, "Not exactly. He's been running the docks since the dark ages. Everyone calls him the dock lord. He's a got a nasty temper and he has creative ways of enacting his own justice if he thinks he's been wronged. For example, after I knocked his plate in the water, he walked over to me and snatched my coat right off my back. Then he walked over to a sea lion, who I swear was just as scared of him as I was, and put it right onto his back."

Finnick jumped in, "Man you got off easy! When I was thirteen, I got dared to take his hat. Well, he caught me. He tied my hands together with rope. Then, no joke, he tied two more pieces of rope to my shoulders. On the other sides of the rope, he had tied them to two seagulls! I had to run into town and have the baker free me from the seagulls. But not before a whole bunch of fishermen had got a good laugh at me."

"You're making that up!" Annie accused him.

Mags laughed and contributed, "Oh I believe it! I went to school with Gregory. He had a crush on this girl, and when he told her, she said she didn't like him. So while we were in class, he braided her hair together with the girl next to her and then glued the ribbons in. They were stuck together the whole day!"

All four of them were laughing. They spent the rest of breakfast swapping stories about well known people in District 4.

* * *

Annie walked into their mentor meeting feeling full in both heart and stomach. She thought how glad she was that the circumstances had brought her together with these people. The circumstances…the hunger games. She was a tribute. That's what had brought them together. They were preparing her to…Annie pushed away the creeping reminders and clung to the feeling of camaraderie that had floated in at breakfast.

Mags began the conversation, "We have a few hours before we get to the capitol and you start getting ready for the opening ceremonies. So we thought we could start talking to you about strategy for the games. Is there anything in particular you'd really like to talk about?"

Annie started to feel nauseous. She pulled her arms in to cross her stomach. Byron sat up straighter and leaned forward.

"I'd like to talk about weapons. What are our options going to be? What's the best way to go about getting them? What's the most strategic?"

Annie's heart starting beating faster.

Finnick answered, "Well you said you're good with a spear so it would be ideal if you could get one. Even if you just got a knife, you could make one yourself, assuming there's trees. A spear's a good option because you can kill your prey from a far range. You can even go up high and kill people who are going by down below. I would climb in trees to throw the trident in my games…"

He went on but Annie couldn't hear him anymore. Prey, she thought, he called them prey. They were people. Animals are prey, people aren't prey. She looked at Finnick, at the cold, detached way he was talking about killing people. She remembered his games, how he would trap people in his net before killing them. She remembered the camera showing the look in some of his victim's eyes. She remembered the fear, the realization they were about to die.

She remembered Finnick cleaning the blood off of his trident. She thought of the fish. She had always hated watching the nets be reeled in. She hated the way the fish would thrash about. They were so afraid, so trapped, so aware of their impending demise. It was awful, torturous. That's what Finnick had done, to children, like they were the fish.

Then she looked over at Byron who was eagerly taking in everything he was saying. He had told her he would do anything to win. What was she about to witness this boy she thought she knew do? She looked over at Mags and realized she was offering input too. But how could Mags have advice on murdering? Mags was a warm quilt…Mags was so…a victor. Mags was a victor. She won her games for a reason. And then she had been training other kids in killing for years since then.

All of the safety that Annie had felt just moments before was throttled out the window. She pulled her knees up and lowered her head. She wanted to hide. She wanted to crawl under the couch, under the train, under the ground and hide hide hide. She wanted to be as small as possible. She wanted to be far far away from these people, from these games, from this place, from the land. She started picturing herself living in the ocean. She allowed her mind to drift beneath the waves. She heard them address her occasionally but she would just shake her head and pull her knees in tighter. She ignored the concerned looks on their faces and kept swimming her thoughts back out to the ocean where she was safe. The water. That was what she could trust. She could trust the water, only.


	5. Capitol Day One

"Oh but did you hear that she showed up to the party without him last night?"

"Well, it was only a matter of time before their private problems leaked out into their public lives! I mean, who did they think they were fooling? Honestly, though, if my husband had that hideous haircut, I wouldn't take him to parties with me either!"

"Oh he's not nearly as bad as her! Have you seen her eyebrows? Atrocious! It's a mystery they can stand to look at each other! Their crumbling marriage really is no wonder! I mean if someone can't even be bothered to update their wardrobe, how do you expect them to hold onto a spouse?"

Annie's team had been gossiping to each other about various capitol people since they had stepped in the room. Other than to give an occasional instruction, they hadn't even addressed her. Annie was perfectly entertained, though, listening to their chattering. It had helped her to ignore the fact that she was naked in front of a group of strangers.

It was like peering into another world. The things that excited them, scandalized them, held their interest were almost beyond comprehension to her. How someone's eyebrows could have any consequence on the health of a marriage was a conundrum she was rolling around in her head when she heard a name that made her ears prick up.

"Well you know I heard that her sister is planning on going to the after party tonight with Finnick O'dair."

"Really? I thought his tastes were better than that! She must have gained ten pounds in the last year! And it all has gone straight to those thighs!"

"Oh please, taste has nothing to do with it. You know how much money their family has!"

"You think she got him to go by…"

"Of course I do! I mean have you seen the boy's abs? He wouldn't go out with that flabby little thing for nothing!"

"I went to a costume party this year, and you should have seen what he showed up in! Shit, I thought the party would drown from all the people drooling all over him! Wait a minute, isn't he your mentor?"

After an uncomfortable silence and some annoyed looks from the prep team, Annie realized they were talking to her.

"Oh yes, yes he's my mentor."

"Well, don't just sit there looking dumb, fill us in! What can you tell us about him!"

"Um, he's a very good mentor. He gives great advice," she replied.

"Come on that's not what we mean!"

"Tell us the juicy stuff! What happens back in that fish district? What does he get up to back there? What did you see on that train?"

Annie looked flushed.

"Um, I'm sorry, I don't really know anything. I didn't meet him until two days ago. And if there's anything interesting to report on from back home, well, I've never heard anything."

"Oh how boring! That reminds me, did you see what Sheera wore at…"

They returned to ignoring her. Annie felt uneasy. The gossip was like an interesting case study of foreign creatures when it concerned people she had no idea about. But when they started talking about Finnick…she felt like she had heard things she wasn't supposed to. Like she had been listening at someone's conversation under the door.

She thought she should try to forget everything they had said, but she couldn't help trying to make sense of it. What had they meant by that comment about the money? And was he really going to be going to capitol parties with capitol women that night? Annie knew that he had a bit of a reputation as a capitol play boy, but she figured that was just district people making assumptions about a handsome victor.

Finnick was such a mystery to her. She felt as if he was comprised of different people, and he would just choose which one to become at any given moment. He was the kind, gentle guy who held her hands while she cried on the train. He was the cold killer who called people prey. He was the boy from her district who had funny stories about the dock lord. He was the charmer who could flirt with skillful ease. And now this information….

No. Annie reminded herself, she did not just hear any information. She heard gossip. Why was she taking anything these people said seriously? And why did she care anyway? She had already decided that Finnick, along with everyone else on the train, was unsafe. It doesn't matter who Finnick really is. Annie couldn't trust him or anyone else and she didn't need to waste time thinking about them. She decided to imagine what life as a mother would be like until the prep team was finished.

* * *

They left with no instructions, still in the middle of their conversation. She started worrying that there was something she was supposed to do. She was getting more and more anxious when the door finally opened and a woman walked in.

She looked Annie up and down and began to list off Annie's features,

"Raven black hair. Long. Slight wave. Fair skin. Pinkish hue to the cheeks. Plain features. Skinny frame. Are those? Yes, a few freckles right around the nose. And those sea green eyes, even better than I had hoped."

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then grabbed Annie's hands.

"My muse. I am The Bertina Rose. Fate has brought us together this day. When I saw you selected as tribute, I knew that destiny had chosen to provide me with the perfect canvas for my art. Your coloring aligns perfectly with my vision. And the plainness of your features will only serve to let the art shine on its own and speak for itself. Darling, you should know how important you are. The clothes that you will be blessed to wear will immortalize you. All of history has moved so that we could meet this very night. What will be birthed between us will transcend the bounds of what humanity previously thought possible. We shall recreate the word beauty. Now, tell me muse, do you have any guesses as to what your dress has been inspired by tonight?"

Annie was furious that this woman had just reduced the entire purpose of her life to wearing a dress. Annie wanted to tell her that she was about to die and her lasting memory wouldn't be as someone who wore something. She was about to tell her that calling her blessed when she was about to be murdered was so ignorantly callous that….but she didn't.

As Annie always did, she pushed down her anger and decided to act out of the small bit of gratitude she felt anytime someone showed her even a shred of human decency. The woman had actually acknowledged her, after all. And in a twisted way she had sort of complimented her. What had she asked her?

"I'm sorry, could you repeat your question?"

"I had simply asked, my muse, if you had any inkling of what inspired my artwork tonight?"

"Oh, um, does it have something to do with the ocean?"

"Oh aren't you clever my muse! Yes! When I saw your eyes I just knew that it was meant to be! Oh, I want to keep giving you clues until you guess, but I just can't keep it a secret any longer! It's just too fabulous! You're dress is inspired by…..seaweed!"

She looked at Annie, clearly waiting for her response.

"Oh," she replied, "how nice. Seaweed is green like my eyes."

"Nice? Oh you are simply monstrous to describe my genius with such a word!"

Annie began to apologize when Bertina interrupted,

"Oh don't worry I could never stay mad at my muse. Now let me tell you how I got the idea! Seaweed has become quite fashionable lately as an appetizer. At first I thought it was repulsive, but apparently it does wonders for your skin. So I quickly jumped on board! Now when I found out I got District 4 this year, I immediately thought of seaweed! I went on a holiday to the beach a few years ago, and I remember seeing how gracefully it would move through the waves. So that is what you are going to personify, my muse. The grace of seaweed!"

Annie forced out a smile. The woman turned around to go fetch her dress. Seaweed…she pictured it moving through the waves. She thought not of grace, though, but of powerlessness. A lack of control. The seaweed was subject to the whims of the wave and tide. It had no choice over where it would be tossed. Or when it would be harvested and consumed by the capitol….

When Annie tried on the dress, she became immediately hot with worry. It had long pieces of swirling fabric that brushed the floor all around the dress. She would have to keep attention so that she wouldn't step on and rip them off.

After they had completely finished transforming Annie, Bertina grabbed Annie's heavily made up face in her hands.

"Go shine like a thousand stars my graceful seaweed. Tonight you will make history."

She turned around with a flourish and sauntered out of the room.

* * *

Annie and Byron walked into a large area with all the other tributes. Annie didn't want to see any of them. She glanced up at a boy with red hair and immediately an image of him holding a blade flashed into her head. She needed to keep her composure for the ceremonies. She kept her eyes down and focused on the ground.

She heard Byron point out Finnick, so she just followed behind him to where Finnick was standing. She was so busy keeping her eyes focused on Byron's feet that she had stopped paying attention to the fabric pieces obstructing her steps. Right as they caught up to Finnick she tripped on one and fell flat on her face.

She heard laughter before she even pushed herself back off the ground. As she was standing her eyes met the stares of two tributes standing close by. They looked at her with a confusing combination of contempt and grotesque delight. Annie felt a fear and violation that chilled her to her core.

A woman standing next to them called out,

"Hey O'dair, looks like you'll be going home early again this year."

Annie felt repulsed by the woman as she spoke, but she couldn't couldn't quite place why. It wasn't until she smiled that Annie realized her teeth weren't teeth, they were like fangs…was she in the presence of a monster?

"Is that so?"

Finnick replied while strolling over closer to the nightmarish brood.

"Have you ever heard of the crater fish? It's a big, strong, but stupid fish. It's got only one predator. The emerald fish. It's half it's size, but twice as smart."

Finnick moved closer and closer to the male tribute as he talked,

"It lures the crater fish into the rocks. Before it even realizes it's trapped…"

Finnick turned to the female tribute and spoke inches from her face,

"…the emerald fish rips it apart with its razor sharp teeth."

Finnick made a biting motion right next to the female tributes neck.

He turned to the fanged woman,

"Have fun tonight Enobaria."

He abruptly kissed her on the cheek and then walked back to Annie and Byron.

"Holy shit,"

Annie heard Byron mutter to himself.

Completely ignoring what had just happened, Finnick instructed them,

"You'll get in the chariot and it will take you through the whole crowd where you'll eventually all stop in front of President Snow. The crowd's going to be loud and it might be overwhelming. Just remember, you're not the only one they're looking at. The attention of all of those people is spread out over 24 tributes. So don't let it get to you. Byron, I want you to look ahead, no smiling. Be intimidating."

Byron interrupted,

"It's hard to be intimidating when I'm wearing seaweed and green makeup."

"Yeah, you've got me there. Just look at it this way. It's all the more reason to put effort into your body language. You are stoic and menacing. Communicate it. Annie, I want you to smile and wave at people as you go by. The seaweed costume is perfect for you. It brings out the green in your eyes. You look like some kind of sea goddess. It's stunning."

Byron looked her up and down and nodded. Annie darted her eyes to the ground. She felt almost as exposed as when she had fallen.

She heard music begin and looked back up at Finnick,

"Those fish, the crater and emerald, they're not real are they? You made them up?"

Finnick just laughed and said,

"Go look beautiful and brutish you two."

* * *

The ceremonies were a blur. Annie's senses were so overloaded from all the noise and people that she couldn't focus on anything. After it was over she wasn't even sure if she had smiled and waved or just stared blankly at the crowd. She was relieved at the sight of a warm, solitary bed when she was shown to her apartment. She showered off the whole bewildering day and fell asleep almost as her head hit the pillow.

She dreamt of sunsets falling on her, seagulls flying away with her arms, and seaweed biting her like a snake.


End file.
